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Lifelong form filler signs off


PINCHER CREEK, ALBERTA—A man who devoted his entire life to filling out forms has decided to call it a day. Last week, on an emotionally charged occasion, 73 year-old Rusty Jingleton filled out his last form – a mortgage application in the company of his tearful wife, Moe.

Jingleton was in his twenties when he completed his first form – an application for day release from prison following a week-long sentence for unlawful carnal knowledge with a sandwich. He was so fascinated with the process, he gave up a promising career as an umbrella tester and instead, advertised his services in the local newspaper as a professional form filler. Soon, people from all over Pincher Creek were inundating him with forms of all shapes and sizes.

Moe explained – “He’ll miss the Census Forms most of all, they were real bitches, especially the ones for people he didn’t know. He’d prep for days before he’d take them on. Tax Returns were also a challenge, especially his own. He’d work out in the garage late into the night, cut out alcohol, caffeine… he needed a clear head to fill out those mothers.”

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