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Vatican approves new form of contraception


ROME—For centuries, Catholics have practiced abstinence, the rhythm method and that old Latin favorite – Coitus interruptus, but this week the Vatican gave its blessing to a new form of natural birth control – living in a one-bedroom apartment in downtown Vancouver.

In a city where the average one-bed apartment is the size of the Pope mobile, home owners in the downtown area have resigned themselves to a life without children.

One-bed apartment owners and devout Catholics, Mary and Joseph Carpenter, expressed both joy and relief at the Vatican’s move – “A shoebox doesn’t begin to describe our place, we’ve injured three cats trying to swing them here. It’s so small we can’t be in our home at the same time so we take turns – having a third person live here is not on the cards. On the other hand having the Papal blessing is sure to increase the value of the property.”

Photo: Benny Lam

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