• Industry Correspondent

Shipbuilder union’s sinking feeling

OMAHA, Nebraska—The Federal Government’s recent decision to award multi-billion dollar shipbuilding contracts to Wisconsin and California has irked the two hundred year-old Nebraska Shipworkers Union.

A spokesman for the union, Bradley Widget, was dismayed but not entirely surprised by the news—“We have the best welders, joiners and hull painters this side of the Mississippi, yet again those in the corridors of power choose to ignore the long tradition of shipbuilding in this state.”

The last vessel built in Nebraska—a submarine in 1941, submerged shortly after its launch and was never seen again, yet Widget feels the union has been treated harshly.

“Sometimes the powers-that-be focus too much on the details and forget the bigger picture. Of course the sub should’ve been waterproofed but that was seventy years ago, we deserve a second chance.”

The fifteen-member union, comprising eight welders, six joiners and a tea lady, has regular get-togethers for poker nights, panel beating contests and lap dancing sessions.

Widget concluded – “Okay, we don't have access to the sea but why should landlocked states be discriminated against. We pride ourselves on our ability to build and deliver flat-packed, sea-worthy vessels to anywhere in North America."


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