Trump's man fired in Ramadan spat
BREAKING — Donald Trump’s controversial campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, was fired over the weekend after party workers noticed he’d suffered sudden weight loss.
A campaign spokesman admitted – “It’s all about the optics, the fact that voters might make a connection between Corey’s fasting and Ramadan is too much of a risk.”
The statement to the media read – “The campaign is grateful to Corey for his hard work and dedication and we wish him all the best with his future ill-timed diets.”
In a rebuttal, Lewandowski was adamant that his weight loss was down to stress and a bout of lactose intolerance due to his boss’s insistence on the team sampling Ivanka Trump’s new breast milk.
Meanwhile, campaign workers were keeping their heads down. One, Martha Beadleburger, confessed – “I’m eating all around me, what happened to Corey could happen to anyone.”