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  • A.E. Cunningham

More Trudeau victims come forward


BREAKING—Officials at the Canadian Prime Minister’s Office were still in defensive mode this morning coping with fallout from yesterday’s incident in the House of Commons when Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, accidentally elbowed NDP MP Ruth-Ellen Brosseau in the center-left boob.

But Elbowgate, as it has become known, took an ominous turn this afternoon when other victims went on record alleging mistreatment, and in some cases violence, at the hands of the Prime Minister.

Among them – baker, Billy Cakes Kerrigan, who was a spectator at a Trudeau town hall meeting in Squamish BC in September. “So he’s making this speech to the townsfolk when all of a sudden he stares at me in the front row, and suddenly I’m blind in one eye. I mean who the f*** deserves that, is that how he treats ordinary, down-to-earth Canadians?”

Another alleged victim – Virgil Rusk, a recovering shoplifter from Brandon, Manitoba, recalled a day last fall when Trudeau was in town on an election campaign stop. “When we heard fancy boy was in town we stumbled out of the bar onto the street to catch a glimpse of him. As he breezed passed me he stood on my foot, suddenly my whole lower leg broke. I’ve been in plaster ever since.”

A professor at Ottawa’s College of Psychologists, Dr. Hamish Hamlet had an explanation – “It’s simple, the Prime Minister is channeling Trump. It’s a stressful time. All world leaders are preparing for the unthinkable, increasing one’s physicality is part of that prep. Unfortunately people will get hurt.”

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