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Riots erupt at science gathering

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON—Police were called to restore order today at a gathering of North American scientists and astrophysicists who had come together for their annual Big Bang Conference.

The gathering, which usually lasts three solar days, focuses on topics such as the age of the universe, the origin of black holes and whether fire and earth signs can ever be compatible.

During a debate on the age of the universe, heated exchanges erupted into full-blown fistfights when scientists from the “Six Billion Years” faction heckled and shouted abuse at the main speaker from the majority “Four Billion Years” group.

At the heart of the discussion was whether Stephen Hawking, an honorary member of the group, should be expelled for accepting a cab ride from a known creationist. Hawkins claimed that he doesn’t discriminate when he’s running late for a ballgame.

A spokeswoman was keen to point out that violence at the Big Bang Conference is only a recent phenomenon.

Both groups once belonged to the “Five Billion Years Society” – but a split occurred when the group’s chairman, Melvin Hapless, was caught in a motel room with another scientist’s wife. He later claimed he was exploring her outer rings.

Two worlds collided and the rest is history.



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