• William Tuttle

Rubio in therapy after failed run

MIAMI, FLORIDA—Senator Marco Rubio is expected to spend a number of weeks in therapy following his failed bid to be the Republican nominee in November’s US election.

A spokesperson close to Rubio claimed that the campaign had taken its toll, with the senator complaining of feelings of inadequacy, emasculation and a lower than usual sperm count, especially after his bruising verbal exchanges during the televised debates with frontrunner, Donald Trump.

Rubio is not the only candidate to suffer from what psychologists have coined – PTSD or post-Trump stress disorder. Last week, reports surfaced of former Florida Governor, Jeb Bush, spending an inordinate amount of time alone at the family compound with an alpaca.

On Thursday last, Senator Lindsey Graham was rushed to hospital following an accidental overdose of testosterone. The dose was so large, paramedics on the scene complained of having to trim his beard to get the ambulance doors to close.

Above: Senator Rubio explaining his condition to a disinterested passerby.



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